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You are a happily married woman out for dinner with your husband. It’s a real-life scenario that has played out in Hong Kong.He leaves his phone on the table while he goes to choose the wine, and a message flashes up on the screen. That’s all it takes for your life to unravel as you discover that not only is he on dating app Tinder, but he’s been having sex with a string of women. Sex addiction wrecks families, destroys relationships and burns careers.And it is behaviour that counsellors are seeing more of, thanks to the increased use of dating apps.“These people are your neighbours, they are parents at your kid’s school, they are people sitting around a dinner table.The knock-on effect on normal living is massive,” says Fiona Markham, chief clinical officer at The Cabin, an addiction treatment and rehabilitation centre based in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

“We’ve seen it previously with online pornography being used in the workplace, but now this is taking over and becoming more around the instant sex that’s available for people online,” Markham says.Sex addiction was once assumed to be found primarily in the male domain, but as psychiatrists and psychotherapists, such as Markham, see more people come through treatment services, they’ve realised there is a much more equal split between men and women.Perhaps less discussed, but equally enabled by dating apps, is love addiction – the compulsive and chronic pursuit of romantic love.A love addict is addicted to the high created by infatuation seen in the early days of a relationship.“You can normally tell a love addict: they will have a series of short-term relationships, they are chaotic, very on and off, and they will be all in the moment and then they find fault and retreat really quickly,” Markham says.

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